Please help my beautiful sisters go to college

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting Kohima, Nagaland, India to meet Ganesh's family for the first time. Kohima is a lovely hill district in Northeast India, bordering Burma and Bangladesh. It is about as far Northeast as you can go while still being within India borders.
As we made the journey to the luscious hills of Nagaland, my eyes were mesmerized by the sight-- for I had never seen such a wondrous place in all my life. I found the vegetation and climate to be quite similar to that of Michigan. Similar flowers and plants like the marigold and hibiscus... rows and rows of pine trees. The nightly spring thunderstorms. It is the closest thing I will find to home-- not just for the familiar plants and weather but rather, the beautiful people I met along the way.

This post is not intended to be a play by play of my experiences in Nagaland (that will come soon) but instead, to ask for your support.

All my life, I dreamed of having a younger sibling to care for. Being the youngest of four children, I knew that would never happen... biologically anyway. Now, I am honored to say, I have two brilliant younger sisters named Parvati and Jyoti Pariyar. My short time being in their presence and observing these two, I came to find that they are truly the most caring and kind teachers a student could ever ask for. Sitting around a table of ten to twenty middle/high school students studying for exams, it was evident how well respected these two young women were among their peers. For more than three years, Parvati and Jyoti have tutored students in all subjects and all ages, to ensure the youth of Kohima keep to their studies. They have helped many 12th graders pass their final exams and move on college and be successful working citizens of the world. The young women support their parents and pay for their own tuition/school material fees with the money they make tutoring more than twenty students.

Due to financial reasons, Parvati, who graduated one year ago, was unable to attend college after high school. Graduating at the top of her class and scored at the top percentage in all of Nagaland, it is an understatement to say she was disappointed to take a gap year. But that didn't stop her from learning... Parvati has continued tutoring students and in her free time, studies subjects like physics, chemistry and other sciences. Her dream is to become a doctor one day and I have no doubt she will be very successful in her future.

Jyoti, the youngest Pariyar sibling has just finished high school this month and also received high marks (in the second division in all of Nagaland). She is eagerly waiting to continue her studies and dreams of becoming a nurse one day.

The two sisters will move to Vellore, Tamil Nadu, India (a few hours south of Chennai) next month to begin their college careers at DKM Women's College (Dhanabagyam Krishnaswamy Mudaliar Women's College). Parvati will pursue a Bachelor of Science in Biotechnology and Jyoti will pursue a Bachelor of Science in Food Sciences & Nutrition.

I am pleased to say that I will be supporting these two brilliant minds as much as I can but my contribution only gets them so far (covers their tuition and housing for 6 months-a year).

So that is why I am asking you, from the bottom of my heart, to please support my family and donate as much as you can to the Parvati and Jyoti Pariyar college fund. Any amount helps!

Visit http://gogetfunding.com/please-support-my-sisters-in-continuing-their-education/ to help these brilliant ladies flourish into strong, independent young women so they can support themselves and their family.

                             

This is an old post I forgot to publish. I have been in India for one month now. Still happy and healthy but melting day by day. Two days ago, I returned from Kohima, Nagaland where I met Ganesh's lovely family and visited his beautiful home town in the hills. When have the chance to properly reflect on my experience and put into words how much this trip meant to me, you will hear about it.

Warning: part of this post may be somewhat graphic or seem way too personal for public viewing but there is no holding back in a place like India, where the word "privacy" means very little. Please remember, this post is all in good fun and not meant to offend anyone.

Well folks, you know you've spent a good amount of time in India when you fearlessly leap in front of traffic to cross the street and watch as even the local people are too scared to do it. See, in contrast to our nicely organized car lanes, drivers freely swerve in any direction there is space. It may appear unsafe but really, they are just accommodating for the billions of other people trying to get somewhere. I mean, it is so hard to get from one place to another, but if drivers actually followed lanes here and actually stopped at stop signs, it would be near impossible to get around. You also know you have spent a decent amount of time in India when everything sounds expensive to you... I paid rs. 1200 (less than $20) to see a doctor... in a hospital... without health insurance and I was unhappy about it. But then I remember that this scenario would never be possible in the States. I would rather walk several kilometers in the blazing sun to save the $1-2 it would cost me to take a rickshaw/cab to my destination. However, maybe this is more for my dignity since I am overcharged

It will always amaze how quickly us humans (animals) acclimate to an unfamiliar environment.

I wouldn't be able to call myself a legitimate journalist if I wasn't willing/open to trying new things at least once, however, there are certain cultural differences that can be very challenging adjustments. The "Indian toilet". Imagine a porcelain toilet that you're used to without the bowl... or seat... and you are left with a small hole with a small rim to place the feet in a squating position over the top. Although I am quite used to this now, it can be tricky at first. These were my first thoughts about it years ago: The hardest part, I would say, is knowing where to place your feet and still hit the hole-- especially women whose aim in a squat-pee is sub par... but even worse is staring at your own shit as it hits the clear bottom. The real mystery though is squating long enough without your feet/legs going numb. The Indian toilet, one can get used to after some practice... but growing up with toilet paper as the norm, I cannot come to terms with the idea wiping shit onto my own hand and find a way to successfully wash it with a bucket of water. It goes against the laws of gravity to perform such a task-- cupping a small amount of water in your palm and then proceeding to get said water to your back end before it drips off the side of your hand... I applaud this population for performing the above tasks without any problems. Now, some of you may read this and your first thought running through your mind will be "white privilege... white privilege" (even reading this through again, I feel that way and hesitate to post it) but please know, this is not meant to offend anyone. I respect these cultural differences for what they are-- differences that highlight how diverse our world truly is and I feel blessed to have experienced them first-hand. If we can't find a way to laugh at our ignorance about them, we will come to accept them as normalcies. On the contrary, you should know, locals think we are the disgusting ones for wiping our bum with a soft piece of paper rather than washing our assholes. In fact, they are absolutely horrified to know that people in the western world have shit stains in their underwear due to lack of cleanliness... ;)

One more cultural difference that I find very interesting is using "thank you". This article explains it better than I ever could. Very interesting read and so relevant in my life right now... I feel rude if I don't say "thank you" for just about anything because that's how I was raised.. but most people either seem annoyed or ignore your "polite" gesture. Even Ganesh's family tells me "there's no need to say thank you here... we're all family" but for me, I just want them to understand how much they are appreciated!

                                 Cows roam free in the streets and rummage through the trash.

                               The heat is so intense most days, I find it best to walk in the evening
                               when the sun is setting and the breeze roles in

                             

                               The apartment complex where I am living

It's in our nature

It was a scorching 98 degrees (yes, like my cousin's 90s boyband...) outside today. Shared a beautiful moment with an old man in the park. I needed somewhere to write my sister a quick letter before walking to the post office so went to a nearby park. The only shady benches were taken-- one at the south end of the park crowded by a group of teenagers and the other, by an old, homeless man that I see napping at said park every morning/afternoon (only because I can see the space from our balcony, peering over the tall cement fence).

I walked through the revolving gates of the park and sat on the nearest bench to the entrance/exit with only the slightest bit of relief from the sun. Although the heat of the wooded bench burned through my thin cotton pants, I knew it was the best option at that moment. The bench to my left harbored a frail man wearing/having nothing but a dhoti (a traditional male garment, somewhat of a long loin cloth). He was yelling something to me in Tamil that I obviously didn't understand. At first, I ignored him, continuing to listen to my ear buds and write under the beaming sun.

Seeing how uncomfortable I was, trying to rearrange my legs in a way that allowed the least amount of butt cheek to touch the surface of the seat, he yelled again. I then made out that he was telling me to come sit in the shade. I quickly joined him as a cool breeze reached and he offered me a tattered rice bag he sat upon as he moved to the ground. I said "No, no. Sit here!" motioning him to come back to his seat on the bench but he politely refused. He sat somberly and watched me write.

People (especially natives) often ask me why I would come to place less glamorous than my own home... my answer revolves around selfless, kind-hearted people like this man. He did not have any intention or motive in sharing his seat. He had no reason (other than maybe to stare) to give up his seat but chose to anyway. And that is just the nature of many of my Indian brothers and sisters.

Instantly I felt bad that I did not have much with me to share but I graciously offered my pani ("water") bottle, a hand full of tic tacs and all the change (15 rupees?) in my bag. We parted in a gentle namaste.

Mahabalipuram and Crocodile Park

Last weekend, we visited Mahabalipuram (or Mamallapuram), an ancient temple about 1-1.5 hours south of Perungudi where we are staying. 

It is said to be one of the most beautiful sights in southern India, however, like many tourists, I was unaware of its historical details. I thought I would share (some of my favorite spots) here:

These lovely remains were once served as a major seaport of the ancient Pallava kingdom based at Kanchipuram, overlooking the Bay of Bengal. Kanchipuram was the capital of the Pallava dynasty during the 6th to 8th centuries and at this time, the Pallavas created the great stone monuments of Mahabalipuram. Lonely planet highlights 9 different sights at Mamallapuram. 

Shore temple: Built under Narasimhavarman II in the 8th century, it's the earliest significant free-standing stone temple in Tamil Nadu. The two-towered Shore Temple symbolizes the heights of Pallava kings. There are two towers that rise above shrines to Shiva, including the original linga (phallic structure that symbolizes the masculine aspect of the meditation god). Between the Shiva shrines is one for Vishnu, the preserver god, in a sleeping pose.

Trumurti Cave Temple: The Trimurti Cave Temple honors the Hindu trinity-- Brahma (creator), Shiva (destroyer) and Vishnu (preserver). On the back of the same rock is a beautiful 

group of carved elephants.

Five rathas: At the southern end of Mamallapuram, the Five Rathas were all carved from single large rocks. Each of these 7th century temples was dedicated to a Hindu god and is now named after one or more of the Pandavas, the five hero-brothers of the epic Mahabharata. The rathas were hidden in the sand until excavated by the British 200 years ago.

After seeing the ever beautiful Mahabalipuram, we visited a reptile sanctuary that housed turtles, snakes, crocodiles, and even iguanas. It was a nice change of scenery outside of the city.. so refreshing to breathe the fresh air and see so much wildlife and green space. The most exciting part was seeing the iguanas get fed/petted. They seem like very calm and loving creatures. Of course, many of the locals find the white chick more interesting than the animals. Every day, I feel like these animals being watched in a zoo ;) We also visited Kovalam Beach for a nice swim in the Bay of Bengal (but did not bring our phones/camera). It was a great relief from the sweltering summer heat.

** Information from Lonely Planet. All photographs by Katie Hoffman & Ganesh Pariyar **

Back in India

Greetings from Chennai!

Two weeks in India thus far and I am still melting from the 95(+) degree heat. Let me catch you up on my time here so far…

Three hundred sixty-five… 365 days, 52 weeks, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes without his presence. It has been the hardest year I have endured. The depression so immense at times, I felt a black hole may swallow me up. Exactly 365 days ago, I said goodbye to the one I love most in this life… with the uncertainty of when I would see him in the flesh again. And yet, here I am, sitting in Detroit Metro Airport, 3 planes, 2 layovers, 8,566 miles and about 26 hours of travel time away from looking into those beautiful brown eyes again. As I push through the anxiety of my claustrophobia, all I can imagine is seeing him waiting there for me and my fears subside… taking him into a sweet embrace and smelling his manly scent very soon.
....

Made it to Delhi and have officially been awake for more than 24 hours. A15-hour flight from Chicago to Delhi and my legs are melted jello. Restless hours upon restless hours... uncomfortable seating no matter which way I positioned myself. Two small children (beautiful mixed children with a Sikh father and European mother) had motion sickness for our decent to Delhi.

I feel like a polar bear must feel being anywhere but the arctic... a polar bear in a zoo to be exact-- overheated and stared at constantly. In fact, the staring began back in Chicago. Feeling extremely dehydrated, I just convinced a shop owner at the airport to accept my American money for some water, seeing as the money exchange stand within the Delhi airport didn't exchange to rupees... wtf?!

A one hour flight to Chicago, a 4 hour layover, and a grueling 15 hour flight to Delhi and now I am just one short flight from my love. Through the long journey, I have focused on the prize waiting for me outside the Chennai airport. Unlike airports in the U.S., one cannot wait in the baggage claim but rather, outside, amongst the swarms of taxi drivers waiting to rip off any foreigner in plain sight. 

Travel tip: when arriving/traveling anywhere by auto in India, make sure the driver uses the meter on his vehicle or else he will overcharge you. Last February, upon arriving in Bombay in the middle of the night, my friends and I were suckered into paying a HEFTY flat rate of nearly $25 to get to our hotel... which ended up being one mile down the road... that ride should have been no more than 200 rupees (~$3) but the driver knew we were vulnerable, sleep deprived and inexperienced. Also, it is safest to use apps for cabs like OLA or Uber instead of approaching a random person. The advantage of OLA cabs is that it shows you a map of the route the driver is taking so friends know where you are. This is especially useful if by chance, you are traveling alone. 

I arrived in Chennai (on 4/1) after several sleepless plane rides. The overwhelming heat was present the second I stumbled onto solid ground again… but before we get to the romance, lets back up…

I left at 6am, running on maybe four hours of sleep. An emotional goodbye left tears streaming down my pink cheeks as I hugged my fluffball Rose bear (dog), then my eldest sister Steph and lost it as I bid farewell to my mom, the most incredible and supportive woman in this world. I wasn't upset because I was leaving but for the simple fact I had grown so accustomed to seeing her lovely face each day. I did not wake up my sweet, 87-year old grandmother but gave her a kiss/hug the night before as she went to bed. My mind flashed back to my childhood and her loving demeanor... flashing the sign for "I love you" whenever we parted ways. 

"I probably won't see you in the A.M. because I will be leaving very early!" 

She stared blankly before asking, "What time are you leaving?!" I hesitated to say, in case she had a restless night, waiting for the early hours to arrive. "It will be very early for you... like 6am."

My guilt engulfed me, knowing her health was not the best... but all I could do was vibe out to the universe and pray she would be well when I returned in July. My sister, Christy took me to the airport. We stopped for coffee at Time Hortons on the way, a decision I would quickly regret. Arrived at DTW with plenty of time to spare, Checked my bag and proceeded to security. That's when the anxiety began... my entire body grew extremely warm. Took my shoes off and realized I was wearing socks with multi-colored pot leaves on them. A moment of panic paralyzed me, although I knew nothing would happen except maybe some major profiling. Every time I am in an airport, my mind flashes to a horror story I was once told... A very true but terrifying tale of someone (who will not be named) that forgot about a "fat nug" he had in his pocket in the airport security line... arrested (obviously). Anyway, made it through security, sweating buckets (no thanks to the morning coffee) and thought to myself... I haven't even left Michigan yet and already, I am soaked through my clothes...

So back to the part you have been waiting for... as we descended in Chennai, I could see the city lights glisten from above, looking much more beautiful than its clusterfuck of a reality... crowded, dirty streets, continuous honking and disorganized driving...but seeing as this was my third time in India, that was to definitely be expected. The plane landed and although feeling sloth-like, I was beyond excited to get off the plane and through customs as soon as possible. I approached customs and naturally, there were no forms left in the bins except for one crumpled, abandoned paper. I asked people from my flight if there were any extras and they stared blankly back at me. See, 90% of the time, it is a mystery whether they don't understand or just don't want to help you... Exhausted and frustrated with the lack of help, I proceeded to the line where the customs officers sat. On the plane to Delhi, we were given a form (but since I had a connecting flight, I didn't need it until now) so I presented it to the customs officer. He took one look and said, "Oh... madam.. there is another paper you must fill out first." He handed me the form, an exact replica, word for word of the ladder. Only difference was the font... Got through customs and went to the baggage claim where, half hoping they made an exception, every man resembled the only one I wanted to see. I borrowed someone's phone to call Ganesh and he said he was waiting outside for me! My bags came down the conveyor belt in slow motion as I longed to the parking lot and embrace my love after way too long.

I walked as quickly as my oversized suitcase would allow and gazed, doe-eyed, into the sea of Tamilians. Cab drivers and rickshaw drivers approached me left and right, no matter how many times I said NO! Panic (along with southern Indian heat) ensued when I couldn't find him among the crowd. And then, at last, my fantasy aligned with my reality. In the distance, I saw the familiar face... the most beautiful face my eyes will ever meet. Suddenly, he was all I could see... like everyone else was a blur and I rushed closer and closer to greet him. Ahhh at last. In the flesh at last. My arms wound tightly around his. I never want to let go, ever again.

It still feels like a dream.