Back in India

Greetings from Chennai!

Two weeks in India thus far and I am still melting from the 95(+) degree heat. Let me catch you up on my time here so far…

Three hundred sixty-five… 365 days, 52 weeks, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes without his presence. It has been the hardest year I have endured. The depression so immense at times, I felt a black hole may swallow me up. Exactly 365 days ago, I said goodbye to the one I love most in this life… with the uncertainty of when I would see him in the flesh again. And yet, here I am, sitting in Detroit Metro Airport, 3 planes, 2 layovers, 8,566 miles and about 26 hours of travel time away from looking into those beautiful brown eyes again. As I push through the anxiety of my claustrophobia, all I can imagine is seeing him waiting there for me and my fears subside… taking him into a sweet embrace and smelling his manly scent very soon.
....

Made it to Delhi and have officially been awake for more than 24 hours. A15-hour flight from Chicago to Delhi and my legs are melted jello. Restless hours upon restless hours... uncomfortable seating no matter which way I positioned myself. Two small children (beautiful mixed children with a Sikh father and European mother) had motion sickness for our decent to Delhi.

I feel like a polar bear must feel being anywhere but the arctic... a polar bear in a zoo to be exact-- overheated and stared at constantly. In fact, the staring began back in Chicago. Feeling extremely dehydrated, I just convinced a shop owner at the airport to accept my American money for some water, seeing as the money exchange stand within the Delhi airport didn't exchange to rupees... wtf?!

A one hour flight to Chicago, a 4 hour layover, and a grueling 15 hour flight to Delhi and now I am just one short flight from my love. Through the long journey, I have focused on the prize waiting for me outside the Chennai airport. Unlike airports in the U.S., one cannot wait in the baggage claim but rather, outside, amongst the swarms of taxi drivers waiting to rip off any foreigner in plain sight. 

Travel tip: when arriving/traveling anywhere by auto in India, make sure the driver uses the meter on his vehicle or else he will overcharge you. Last February, upon arriving in Bombay in the middle of the night, my friends and I were suckered into paying a HEFTY flat rate of nearly $25 to get to our hotel... which ended up being one mile down the road... that ride should have been no more than 200 rupees (~$3) but the driver knew we were vulnerable, sleep deprived and inexperienced. Also, it is safest to use apps for cabs like OLA or Uber instead of approaching a random person. The advantage of OLA cabs is that it shows you a map of the route the driver is taking so friends know where you are. This is especially useful if by chance, you are traveling alone. 

I arrived in Chennai (on 4/1) after several sleepless plane rides. The overwhelming heat was present the second I stumbled onto solid ground again… but before we get to the romance, lets back up…

I left at 6am, running on maybe four hours of sleep. An emotional goodbye left tears streaming down my pink cheeks as I hugged my fluffball Rose bear (dog), then my eldest sister Steph and lost it as I bid farewell to my mom, the most incredible and supportive woman in this world. I wasn't upset because I was leaving but for the simple fact I had grown so accustomed to seeing her lovely face each day. I did not wake up my sweet, 87-year old grandmother but gave her a kiss/hug the night before as she went to bed. My mind flashed back to my childhood and her loving demeanor... flashing the sign for "I love you" whenever we parted ways. 

"I probably won't see you in the A.M. because I will be leaving very early!" 

She stared blankly before asking, "What time are you leaving?!" I hesitated to say, in case she had a restless night, waiting for the early hours to arrive. "It will be very early for you... like 6am."

My guilt engulfed me, knowing her health was not the best... but all I could do was vibe out to the universe and pray she would be well when I returned in July. My sister, Christy took me to the airport. We stopped for coffee at Time Hortons on the way, a decision I would quickly regret. Arrived at DTW with plenty of time to spare, Checked my bag and proceeded to security. That's when the anxiety began... my entire body grew extremely warm. Took my shoes off and realized I was wearing socks with multi-colored pot leaves on them. A moment of panic paralyzed me, although I knew nothing would happen except maybe some major profiling. Every time I am in an airport, my mind flashes to a horror story I was once told... A very true but terrifying tale of someone (who will not be named) that forgot about a "fat nug" he had in his pocket in the airport security line... arrested (obviously). Anyway, made it through security, sweating buckets (no thanks to the morning coffee) and thought to myself... I haven't even left Michigan yet and already, I am soaked through my clothes...

So back to the part you have been waiting for... as we descended in Chennai, I could see the city lights glisten from above, looking much more beautiful than its clusterfuck of a reality... crowded, dirty streets, continuous honking and disorganized driving...but seeing as this was my third time in India, that was to definitely be expected. The plane landed and although feeling sloth-like, I was beyond excited to get off the plane and through customs as soon as possible. I approached customs and naturally, there were no forms left in the bins except for one crumpled, abandoned paper. I asked people from my flight if there were any extras and they stared blankly back at me. See, 90% of the time, it is a mystery whether they don't understand or just don't want to help you... Exhausted and frustrated with the lack of help, I proceeded to the line where the customs officers sat. On the plane to Delhi, we were given a form (but since I had a connecting flight, I didn't need it until now) so I presented it to the customs officer. He took one look and said, "Oh... madam.. there is another paper you must fill out first." He handed me the form, an exact replica, word for word of the ladder. Only difference was the font... Got through customs and went to the baggage claim where, half hoping they made an exception, every man resembled the only one I wanted to see. I borrowed someone's phone to call Ganesh and he said he was waiting outside for me! My bags came down the conveyor belt in slow motion as I longed to the parking lot and embrace my love after way too long.

I walked as quickly as my oversized suitcase would allow and gazed, doe-eyed, into the sea of Tamilians. Cab drivers and rickshaw drivers approached me left and right, no matter how many times I said NO! Panic (along with southern Indian heat) ensued when I couldn't find him among the crowd. And then, at last, my fantasy aligned with my reality. In the distance, I saw the familiar face... the most beautiful face my eyes will ever meet. Suddenly, he was all I could see... like everyone else was a blur and I rushed closer and closer to greet him. Ahhh at last. In the flesh at last. My arms wound tightly around his. I never want to let go, ever again.

It still feels like a dream.